My daughter is in Grade 7, and they had their Grade 7 farewell party last Friday which I literally had to force her to attend. At this point I don’t know if she is just antisocial, a loner or a snob?
This is not something new. When she was in Grade 5, I once asked her to take extra food and share with her friends during break and her response was – ‘Mummy I don’t have friends so I eat alone.’ That bothered me because all I could imagine was her being all alone without anyone to play with or talk to. I sat her down many times asking if she’s happy at school or if she wants to move? she told me she was happy.
I later on found out that she isolates herself, it’s not that her schoolmates don’t like her or don’t want to befriend her. They always try to involve her but she says she’s not interested and ends up playing or sitting by herself.
A few months ago she was added to a school whatsapp group and guess what she did – she left it. Her excuse was, ‘The group is boring I can’t relate.‘ I was shocked. She says the music, films they talk about is what she doesn’t know or have interest in. She is currently hooked on Korean Pop and knows every band and every song. I told her to at least try and introduce the taste of what she likes to her schoolmates maybe some will like it too. I don’t understand how someone that seems to be very much liked at school always ends up sitting alone in a corner? The teachers like her, and I know most of her schoolmates love her because she’s always the crowd’s favorite whenever they have activities at school. When I drop her off they come to greet me and always insist on hugging her but her facial expressions during those hugs are basically saying ‘Why are you hugging me?’.
She has one best friend but that friend is at a different school, they only hangout on weekends and school holidays. She will be going to the same school as her from Grade 8 but I’ve told her to be aware that her friend is a grade ahead of her, she obviously has friends at the school already. This means my daughter needs to make friends with kids in her own grade so that she can have friends to study with or do school activities with instead of being alone.
Anyway, she ended up going to the Grade 7 farewell party and she had so much to say about it when she got back. She says she had a good time and played with almost everyone. She has rejoined the WhatsApp group but says it’s only for a week then she’s gonna leave again. WOW!
Parenting is not easy. Which makes me believe that I am not the only parent that’s experiencing this. I don’t think it’s a teen phase with my daughter because she was like this even before she became a teenager though it seems to be getting worse with age. My own mother always says she took after me. Apparently I used to isolate myself. I know for a fact that I’m a loner, I don’t like isphithiphithi so I choose to stay away. Yes, I can be very antisocial especially where there is alcohol and smoking around, I literally move away. I attend events and I always find myself somewhere in a corner on my phone away from the party. I also don’t do group traveling at all, it’s a lot for me. I love my own space but I still remember I used to have friends during school days which is something my daughter doesn’t seem bothered by. I look at her and I wonder, is she antisocial, a loner or simply a snob?